Bryan Robb


    1. habit m akes us happy h.abit makes us /////

    


                        sad it's  so simple to say  so <hard to remember to stay aw ake on the drive h .ome¹ or to our  graves  it feels the .same  faith f ul evenings tunnel vision routine conque.rs  decision sam e left onto riverside ffrom turn to open eyes coltrane hits the note th at  opens from ano. ther side anothe r shot three cheers for com pre hension from the road down to the riverbed from the point w here it is fed to. the lake where moti.on's dead //suicide but habit makes us happy habit makes us s  ad so easy to go on living so hard to  remember reason.s


                                      ¹ is+where the h eart is 

  • it's not funny when a skunk dies on your road. at night. in the summer. with the windows open.

    But in the morning
    on the sober dawn of Sunday
    you're not sure what you have done
    Who told you love was fleeting?
    Sometimes men can be so misleading
    to take what they need from you
    Whatever you need to make you feel
    like you've been the one behind the wheel
    the sunrise is just over that hill
    the worst is over
    Whatever I said to make you think
    that love's the religion of the weak
    this morning we love like weaklings
    the worst is over.

  • on this day in history…

     

    1965: US orders 50,000 troops to Vietnam
    President Johnson has commited a further 50,000 US troops to the conflict in Vietnam.

    Monthly draft calls will increase from 17,000 to 35,000 – the highest level since the Korean War, when between 50,000 and 80,000 men were called up each month.

    It will take the US force in Vietnam up to 125,000 but officials say at this stage demands should be met by conscription, without calling upon the reserves.


















    "" "" ""
    "" I do not find it easy to send the flower of our youth…into battle
    		 ""

    President Johnson
    ""



    Speaking in a televised address from the White House President Johnson said: "We do not want an expanding struggle with consequences no one can foresee."


    "Nor will we bluster, bully or flaunt our power. But we will not surrender, nor will we retreat," he continued.

    The President gave the news conference after a week of intensive talks with senior military and security advisers in Washington.

    He explained the decisions were in response to requests made by General Westmoreland, the US Commander in the South Vietnamese capital, Saigon.

    Mrs Johnson and her daughter looked close to tears as Mr Johnson admitted: "I do not find it easy to send the flower of our youth, our finest young men, into battle."

    The US leader also made clear his desire for peace and recalled the – unsuccessful – efforts of 40 countries to bring an end to the fighting on 15 occasions.

    He called upon the United Nations to redouble its efforts to restore peace to Vietnam and detailed a personal letter to that effect being personally delivered to the UN Secretary-General, U Thant, in New York by the new US Ambassador to the UN, Arthur Goldberg.

    The Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, and the Secretary of Defence, Robert S McNamara, are to persuade Congress of the need to finance the US' new military commitments, in the light of a reduced defence budget this year.

    President Johnson explained: "We intend to convince the communists that we cannot be defeated by force of arms or by superior power."


     


    (c) BBC, All Rights Reserved


    Original text found @ [news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday…](http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/july/28/newsid_2754000/2754033.stm)

  • So, I'm applying for a student loan through my credit union.  It's for a car, but shhh, they don't need to know that.  Full coverage insurance is blow-me-away expensive.  Well, as it turns out you need to list assests.  As of current, my assests are as follows:



    • Paul Reed Smith CE 22 Maple Top, appraised @ $1200

    • 300 albums @ resale average $3 = $900

    • 2 Hermann Miller shell chairs @ $100 each = $200

    Dude, I don't think they'll let me have a loan.

  • and you thought we had it bad with pinocchio in office.









    China convicts baby traffickers






    By Rupert Wingfield-Hayes
    BBC correspondent in Beijing
    ""





    "Boy
    There are villages full of boys who have little chance of finding a wife
    A court in southern China has convicted 52 people of baby smuggling.

    Six of them were sentenced to death and five to life in prison in the biggest single baby trafficking case in recent Chinese history.

    Over a two-year period the smuggling ring is thought to have bought and sold 118 babies, many of them girls.

    It was unmasked last year when police boarded a bus in south-west China and found 28 babies stuffed inside travel bags. One had died from the cold.

    To outsiders it is a shocking trade, but in rural China it is ancient and it is growing.

    It is driven by China's strict family planning laws which limit many couples to one child.

    Desperate for a boy, farmers often sell a baby girl before its birth can be registered. Ironically, the baby will often be sold to other poor farmers as a future bride for their son.

    All over China there are poor villages full of boys who have little chance of ever finding a wife.
    ————————————————————-


     


    My family left me home and today is the family reunion.  Now I just need someone to play Joe Pesci's part and that other dude, chasing me around the house in Home Alone.  Any takers?

  • has anyone really mastered the art of being alive? with this i mean, to live entirely unscathed by the world around them no matter how grim it may look. i figure there are two ways in which people may do this. theres the grabbing-life-by-the-balls-and-twisting type of lifestyle and then theres the passive, let-the-chips-fall-where-they-may, happy-go-lucky lifestyle. between those two realms must lie a huge gap that many people fall into. whether it be keeping up with the jones' or being immersed in loneliness, people snuggle confortably with routine. addictively safe settings in which they live out their lives practically comatose.

    at night i listen to jazz on npr and drive around. i wind through the countryside, along the rivers, around blocks of corn and wheat and i just chill. it's my time to collect myself. sometimes i stop to watch deer in the fields or look up at the stars. other times i just drive and look at houses, crazed by the number of dull-blue windows there are. all those people glued to their television sets. sure, sometimes i'm no better. i can hang with the best of them online. i get lonely sometimes being way out here in no man's land. not having anyone similar near me is kind of intimidating at times. but for the most part i think i'm really happy. as for the previously stated opinions on mastering life, no, i haven't pinned it down. but i think i fall closer to the latter of the two. things change. i'm content with that. i like things to get stirred up a bit. people move away, people change. things die, others are born. renewal. keeps things interesting.

    but what i really wonder about are all those people that have lost all curiosity for life. they replace thought with religion, put way too much emphasis on their own beliefs instead of respecting others', and get far too caught up in material things. with this i think they sacrifice their lives. what we are made to do they somehow ignore when 'everybody loves raymond' comes on. or when they are forced to have an opinion, they always take the safe approach [maybe as to not be ostracized by the church? or be tagged anit-american?]. i am not saying that i am perfect. i'm just saying that i'm curious. i'm mostly light-hearted, too. why is everyone so serious? why is everyone so seriously dull?




  • ^moving


    somehow i don't have an arm in this picture.

  • McCoy Tyner – Illuminations

    Shit, this record is…awesome! Still my favorite jazz pianist ever. He left the John Coltrane quintet in '65, two years before John died (they say free jazz died when he did), but this guy is still rockin' it into his sixties.

    Worked another 9 hours today. Can't wait for my day off [thursday]. Gotta get a car, gotta talk with an advisor, gotta sign papers for my new place [i need money…so any of you rich people out there, i have a paypal account, just let me know if you like funding good people. ;]

    PS: Michigan girls are such snobs.

  • yeah uh huh

  • everyone take 2 minutes and do this please

    sign the petition to save the statler hotel from demolition:
    [www.petitiononline.com/statler/p…](http://www.petitiononline.com/statler/petition.html)

    this building is a detroit landmark that needs to be saved; we don't need any more surface parking lots! stop tearing our history down!

    they almost tore down the beautiful



    which is now under renovation because of efforts such as this.

  • the von bondies, lack of communication has been on repeat.

    i ccan feel my life slowing down like a top that's lost all its momentum. for the first time since i can remember, i think i'm okay with that. ties are cut, bridges have been burned, new roadways [being] built. trying to focus on my next few steps instead of looking so far into the haze that i don't realize the life around me. it's been that way for far too long.

    i want to buy a house…and i want to channel all my creative energy into it..fixing it up and put a little studio in the basement for no one but myself and my closest. so i shall start saving money. just put it away and not think about it so when i'm READY, it'll be there.

    i'm moving into a townhouse real quick here, within the next few weeks. my roomates have already signed the papers…i just got to get down to lansing and sign 'em. and look for a new job…

    another change in my life to look back on. but i have a feeling this one will be hugely positive.

  • 309,000…i couldn't even afford it if that amount were in pennies.

    i want this lil house:

    [www.realtor.com/Prop/1038…](http://www.realtor.com/Prop/1038186159?lnksrc=00045&gate=idxmannarbor)

  • I canceled my Sprint account. Time to start saving an extra sixty-two dollars a month. At the end of this month you will only be able to reach me at my home or by e-mail. I figured it was about time to start saving some money, seriously. I kind of like the idea of being somewhat disconnected anyway.

    Today I woke up and decided I was going to donate plasma.
    On the way I stopped by work to request next weekend off so I can go up to Sleeping Bear Dunes/Lake Michigan for some rustic camping with Jonathan and crew…much to my surprise, I actually got the weekend off. One last attempt at a good time this summer.

    As for the plasma donation:

    I spent about 3 hours getting set up with tests and paper work and waiting and getting hooked up to a machine that sucked my blood out, extracted my plasma, and then pumped my red blood cells back into my body. It went throught this cycle about 12 times while I watched the clock and read a rolling stone I found in the waiting room…laughing at the sorry excuses for critique and wondering why they call it 'donating plasma' when they pay you to do it. All in all it wasn't so bad, althought a little tedious pumping my arm and watching the container slowly fill with a funny yellow substance that came from my body. When I was done I didn't feel too bad. I was just a little bit dizzy, but i got my 25 bucks cash and continued to my car. I got on the expressway, at which point I started to feel really sick. I hadn't eaten anything all day and I'm guessing that's not a good thing to do when you're having fluids taken from you. I stopped at a gas station in Alma to put something in me, and I made it to the bathroom in time as to not pass out in public. But regaining consciousness on a gas station's bathroom floor with your face near the toilet isn't exactly what I consider a good time, either. I got up and drank from the sink…gulps and gulps. Bought two Gatoraids and drank to my heart's content in the parking lot while 'you can't always get what you want' by the Stones came on the radio. I felt better after about 15 minutes, but I'll be sure next time to eat something before I do anything like that again.

    So in combination, between the cell phone and the plasma I'm up $87 minus $3 for Gatoraid = $84. I'm going to try and not blow it on music.


    ^right before my car died


    ^nonna's side yard
    Midland (hometown_):

    ^revere park


    ^so many beautiful houses in this town

    Drive to Californ-i-a (Coachella):


    ^somewhere, arizona


    ^trev @ grand canyon. he found his spirit animal, which he later killed and ate.

    ^april on cliff: "Gabe, you ok??"

    ^the two biggest dorkmasters you'll ever meet. yeah, trevor's wearing a wool skirt because it was about 30 degrees out that morning. southern arizona was about 95.

    ^trev/grand canyon morning.


    'piss on texas'

    yeah, we rode 4-deep in a honda civic, cross-country


    ^finally there. i think you can read the enthusiasm on my face

    ^fried


    ^i think this was during …trail of dead

    'art'


    gabe-drunk

  • i got the money if you got the time

    Do this:
    stolen from

    Name:
    Age:
    Reason for LJ username:
    AIM sn:
    Reason for AIM sn:
    Do you enjoy reading my LJ:
    Why:
    Interesting fact about you:
    Weird fact about you:
    Quote:
    Will you post this in your LJ:

    RECOMMEND
    1. A movie:
    2. A book:
    3. A musical artist, song, or album:
    4. An LJ user not on my friends list:
    5. Something to do in the next two months:

  • oh detroit, lift up your weary head

    why i was not aborted, i do not know. bryan barry robb II, born to bryan barry robb sr. and deborah lynn barnette-robb on the 20th day of february, 1981. my mom was a strong woman. gave birth to me at 19. she gave up her full-ride to nursing school and we lived in a motel in detroit because my dad wouldn't get a job. my mom walked the streets of detroit in order to find a job to support us while she was pregnant for my brother. she gave birth to my brother bradley at 21. at which point my father split [never paid a dime] and from then on she raised us herself, worked full-time, and still managed to get her assosiates degree [without the full-ride]. and never did i feel unloved. she smothered us in love.

    then in '86 she had a new boyfriend named jim. he had money but he liked to spend it on booze and gambling. the first words he ever spoke to me were 'chew with your mouth shut' while i was eating my corn pops cereal. as if he knew etiquette. i may be wrong, but i'm pretty sure good etiquette doesn't involve taking a girl and her two young children to the casino and laying her in a hotel bed while the two children hide under the covers and plug their ears in the bed beside. he would beat us. he would cheat on her and come home drunk. if we did something 'wrong', he'd make us get in the push-up position and pile phone books on our backs while we held that up-right position for long periods of time while he sat on the couch and watched HBO. and if we dropped the phone books from our backs, the clock started over again. i remember once my brother and i were playing in the drive way. jimmy [jims eldest son] jumped in the car and started backing up in his camaro and roled right over my little brother. ran him over with the tire. it's a miracle he wasn't killed, but i guess he was in a sandy area so he didn't get more than a few scratches. jimmy picks brad up and runs him into the house and a little while later jim comes out, grabs me by the arm and starts beating me because I [yes, me, 5 year old bryan] DID NOT TELL JIMMY THAT BRAD WAS BEHIND THE CAR. yeah, my mom put up with a lot of shit because she didn't have anywhere to turn.

    i, on the other hand, don't know why i exist. i say i have troubles but i do not know troubles. i have it easy.

    but then why do things seem hard? why is my complete lack of inspiration for living not subsiding? she always tells me 'you do what you have to do. having children shocks you into reality i guess'. you'd think having her as an influence and positive force in my life for so long that i would have learned something from it. maybe i am learning now, but i'm 23. i'm going to school and working but i still feel like i'm doing the bare minimum. i'm not 'conquering life' so to speak. sometimes going to the post office is an eventful day for me. i'm thankfully off drugs but sometimes when i look back at who i used to be, i miss myself, because it seems like i was such a lovely, creative person then. i had emotion and i had fun. now i do not have fun, even doing things i used to love.

    i went back to detroit with jonathan this weekend to visit my friend pelot. he got a beautiful new place in midtown. we went to a few bars and acted crazy and had a few laughs, but it was nothing like it used to be. while driving around seeing the littered streets of mexican town and the abandoned buildings of cork town, all i could think about was my mother, walking those streets to find a job to support me. worn out old motels that rent hourly, nightly and weekly. hotels that were probably not too much unlike my first home. hookers and crack heads. steam coming from the man holes.

    shit, i got it easy. what the fuck's wrong?

  • so·ci·o·path
    n.
    One who is affected with a personality disorder marked by antisocial behavior

  • I've been trying an experiment lately.

    Instead of writing people off. Instead of going into a situation always expecting the worst. Instead of being cynical. Instead of hating…

    Smile.


  • The Tower
    Position: Self
    Main (positional) Meaning:
    Significant change is brought about rapidly and unexpectedly.

    The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now.

    The Tower represents a rapid, creative charge that is unplanned and uncontrollable but presents a brilliant opportunity for transformation. Because of circumstances beyond your control, you have no choice.

    Try not to judge whether this development is good or bad. You won't know for awhile whether this was the worst disaster that ever happened or a significant breakthrough. It could be a combination of both.


    Two of Coins
    Position: Situation
    Main (positional) Meaning:
    Resist the impulse to join those around you who are becoming polarized in opposing camps.

    The card that lands in the Situation position refers to social or circumstantial factors which could be affecting your life at this time.

    When the Two of Coins is in this position, you may be surrounded by people who are busy taking sides. If so, resist the impulse to join either camp. Some people with a need to be in control may jump to conclusions. You do not have to join them, however, or take a position one way or the other.

    Ask yourself — are all the facts in yet? Or do unknowns still govern the day? If you are patient, you will spare yourself grief, while truth reveals itself in its own good time. Don't let fear have its way with you — you may discover the situation was never as serious as it seemed.

    Queen of Swords
    Position: Challenges/ Opportunities
    Main (positional) Meaning:
    Champion your own needs; put some distance between yourself and those who would hamper your progress.

    The card that lands in the Challenges/Opportunities position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones.

    With the Queen of Swords in this position, improve your ability to balance your needs against the pressures of other people's expectations. To turn this challenge into an opportunity, develop some enthusiasm for spending more time with yourself, making the pivotal decisions in your own life, and living directly with the consequences of your choices.

    Become your own best advocate. To help you accomplish this goal, shorten the list of people and circumstances that have the power to distract you or divert your energy. Define your boundaries. State your goals. Start acting on your own behalf.

  • taking everything out of my room and ripping the carpet up.
    next will be filling in the holes in the walls and then paint….and then new carpet….i wonder what i should do with it. maybe should come over and help me this weekend. your room in bay city looks fanfuckingtastic.

  • it's funny how you don't realize something until someone brings it to your attention and from that moment on you never look at it in the same light again. it could be something you've taken for granted or just something you've never even noticed. a material object or a figure of speech or even your own personality. and suddenly you can't help but notice it. your thought pattern completely changes from that moment on. i guess this would be the definition of epiphany.

  • my car died yesterday. it was sad to see leon the neon on the side of the road, smoking out of the hood. but i just sat on the trunk and looked at the open fields and the clouds and waited for the wrecker. it's events like this that make me happy that i have family around to help. if i move to some distant corner of the globe, i'd be completely alone and things like this would have to be dealt with entirely on my own. when the wrecker came he just hooked a chain up to the front and pulled me a couple miles down the road to a mechanic. i got to steer my car while he pulled and it was kind of fun. poor car. we've been through a lot together. i know it's ugly as sin and it's probably the worst car on the road, but it has lasted so long despite so much tragedy. twice i packed all of my belongings into that thing and risked mountain passes, snow, lightning, wind, deer…traveled cross-country when it had no business doing so…pushed it to the limit and it rarely let me down. so many memories. trips to the beach. love making. the music that has been through those speakers…even the tiny hint of makeup that's still on the visor from when angie used to use the little mirror for applications on the fly.

  • havin' a good day. happy fathers day.

  • today was the day i swallowed the lump in my throat,

    walked in

    and gave her my number.

    oh, julay.

  • DETROIT BASKETBALL

    detroit city, what, mothafucka.

  • I'm sorry that you are feeling so depressed and I'm sorry if I contribute to that. My life has more or less been spent raising you guys. Quite a bit of that time by myself, which didn't leave a whole lot of time for hobbies. Now that you guys are grown up and I have more time to focus on myself, I find that I don't know what to do with myself. Maybe that is part of the reason I feel depressed sometimes. Because the whole purpose of my life and existence for the last 23 years was you guys and now you don't need me anymore.

    I know I haven't always been the greatest mother. I've never been a great cook and Lord knows I've not been a great housekeeper. But nevertheless, I have tried to be a good mom in other ways. I don't think you guys have ever felt unloved by me, have you?

    I don't know how to help you feel better other than to tell you I'm very proud of you right now. Brian is, too. You took a little detour for a couple years, which set you back maybe a little bit from some of the other people your age, but lots of people do that, including me. I did the same thing and I didn't turn out too bad, did I? My life is a little boring, but when you get older you reach a point were life is just comfortable. I guess having so many ups and downs in my life with my dad and step dad, your dad and Jim, that at this point in my life I am just thankful my life has settled down and I don't have to go through any of that craziness anymore.

    My life was always in so much turmoil, it just feels to be able to relax and not be worried all the time. I hope you can understand this.

    But back to you. So you took a little detour for a while. It's not the end of the world. The important thing is that hopefully you've learned from your mistakes and you are making an effort to correct them. Just be patient. Your day to shine will come and all your hard work will pay off. I have faith in you. I know what you are capable of and I hope one day you will put us all to shame with what you've achieved. Nothing could make me happier as a mother than to see all my kids succeed in life, and I know you will. Be patient. Appreciate the good things in your life and try not to focus on what's bad. You are an extremely intelligent young man and you have a lot to be thankful for. Just keep doing like you are doing now. You are headed in the right direction. Tomorrow will look brighter, it always does.

    I love you!
    MOM