Bryan Robb

  • i got my guitar out today. dusted it off.
    i think that's part of what's missing.
    trevor is going to move his old kit into my basement and we're going to play.
    if i get this job i've applied for…i'll have money finally.
    i've decided i need to move.
    maybe portland. or vancouver. somewhere with mountains.
    when i look around i think about that song by trail of dead:
    "the ruined landscape i once called home"
    i swear they must be from the midwest. especially judging by that picture in the liner notes. i think they're really from texas. but that photo is definitely michigan or wisconsin. anyway, i don't know what i'm talking about. blow me a fucking kiss.

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  • what happened? i'm really confused about today.
    and i have an accent? hahahaha.

  • two crazy-ass toe-heads back in '85

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  • Though I've always enjoyed the style of Whitman and Ginsberg, I've never really toyed with it on my own until last night. May-be crap, but it is still my own:

    You for who I have searched and gone to such lengths to make my presence known,
    You for whom I have pondered, albeit without any cost to you; though in contrast,
    I've dream'd more so than lived: fairly I proclaim my own self-loathing for this, before any other should tell me to feel likewise,
    For with whom I would need to agree, as if neon lit or milked sickness, true;
    Though the pleasure would not be theirs while worn on my sleeve
    I have experienced such pleasures as friends quite dear; through symposium and in private, I have enjoyed their simplified answers to my woes (they have humored me so!),
    But there is an ache in me that will not be massaged by the occasional high spirit (though temporarily by the intoxicating variety),
    A child I am in my selfishness, though I know the prayer of the Buddha,
    But if there ever was anything so intoxicating as to have me throw away a True path, this Love would undoubtedly be it, leaving me forever unchanged and unfolded.

  • stole this from thisdamngirl

    bold the places you've visited:

    1) Alabama, 2) Alaska , 3) Arizona, 4) Arkansas, 5) California, 6) Colorado, 7) Connecticut, 8) Delaware, 9) Florida, 10) Georgia, 11) Hawaii, 12) Idaho, 13) Illinois, 14) Indiana, 15) Iowa, 16) Kansas, 17) Kentucky, 18) Louisiana, 19) Maine, 20) Maryland, 21) Massachusetts, 22) Michigan, 23) Minnesota, 24) Mississippi, 25) Missouri, 26) Montana, 27) Nebraska, 28) Nevada, 29) New Hampshire, 30) New Jersey, 31) New Mexico, 32) New York, 33) North Carolina, 34) North Dakota, 35) Ohio, 36) Oklahoma, 37) Oregon, 38) Pennsylvania, 39) Rhode Island, 40) South Carolina, 41) South Dakota, 42) Tennessee, 43) Texas, 44) Utah, 45) Vermont, 46) Virginia, 47) Washington, 48) West Virginia, 49) Wisconsin, 50) Wyoming

  • my backyard, today after much snow…

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  • pencil sketches and makeup on the passenger seat visor.

    driving home.
    from wherever, so long as home is my destination.
    i catch myself looking around my surroundings and criticizing everything; bitching about every little thing, at first. "why can't….how come….where's the…."
    but then a peace usually washes over me. i see a bridge and a sign that reads "pine river" and i think how i would have killed to see that bridge so many times before when it was an impossibility. projecting myself into the future i see myself in a far off place, tied down in roots of stability, no more big questions about the future, no more big dreams, wishing that i was back on those country roads in my car and in my head with the most infinite of possibilities and color schemes. i think of the old saying 'those who have lost everything are free to do anything' and mold it to my own liking. 'those who have never had anything are free to dream about everything.' maybe it's the snow falling and the endless white and the slick roads in their entrancing straightness and the hum of the tires that hypnotize and chill my spine. i try to hold onto that shiver, make it last as long as i can. it helps me feel like i'm in touch with something much larger than i. for when it's gone, the clarity goes with it and the empty passenger seat becomes too much to handle. if i hold the chill, i feel the moment that is. i don't feel old tears or embraces. i don't think of impossibilities or the unfathomables. i don't get caught up in thought and miss the moment that is. but when it's gone my head starts-a-dreamin' of days that will never come, and days that have and never will again.

  • so i had an interesting week/weekend.

    the week started out kind of weird with maria and i hanging out a couple of days. very sweet girl and cute as hell but i'm not so sure she's the opposing puzzle piece. but i guess we'll have some fun.

    stopped by jen's place because she said she had a christmas present waiting for me…and it was a wonderful scarf! i love hand-made gifts.

    thursday morning i received an email update for a show going on at the diaper so i started to make plans to get a semi-large group to go. thought i'd steal the suburban [gross, right..] for the night and pile 'em in. well as it turns out, jonathan is busy with his up coming play [as always] so him and ashley are out, trevor is out cold with some sort of sickness, can't get a hold of jess , so by this point i'm thinking all's lost. but indeed i was wrong! bergey was the only one who pulled through. so we said fuck it and went anyway…and rocked the joint like the true gangstas that we are. heard some great bands such as HUGS, The Setup and The Sea The Sea. I was so impressed with The Sea The Sea that I saw them again at Mac's Bar friday night. Kind of slow there, but still a great show. Met some random people that night that invited me to their place…drank, played some jams…and ended up crashing on their couch. [to they i am truly thankful, for i was smashed. glad i didn't get raped.] drove to a holiday inn the next morning and got a room, watched some movies and made good use of the hot tub and sauna. relaxed most of sunday-day and finally ended the weekend with watching Big Fish with trev and liz. Wasn't a horrible movie but i have to say that i was kind of disappointed because i had high expectations. but i had a good night, no less.

    hrm. so that's an update.

  • from sea to shining sea. or some bullshit like that.

    Live At Ibiza: what's up man?
    spira infinitas: heya. just posting some pictures online.
    spira infinitas: what up
    Live At Ibiza: not shit, just turned in some laundry and took ashower.
    spira infinitas: i see. amy came over tonight with maria. i think she's trying to hook us up or something.
    Live At Ibiza: did she? is she still there?
    spira infinitas: no, she went home
    Live At Ibiza: dammit
    Live At Ibiza: she said she was gonna email me what time she worked tomorrow but she didn't.
    spira infinitas: she didn't know what time she had to work…
    Live At Ibiza: she didn't?
    Live At Ibiza: even after work yesterday?
    Live At Ibiza: how'd that absinthe taste?
    spira infinitas: i guess not. maria had to leave because she has to get up at 6 and when they left, amy said she didn't even know when she had to go in tomorrow. i guess today she was over an hour late. she thought she had to be there at 5 but she was supposed to be there at noon. they called her and she went in.
    spira infinitas: the absinthe tastes like really fucking strong jagermeister.
    Live At Ibiza: hahaha
    Live At Ibiza: i want to try it.
    spira infinitas: well, like i said, i didn't take very much at all so i didn't really feel the effects
    Live At Ibiza: is it a big bottle?
    spira infinitas: well it's shaped weird, like a circle, but i think it's probably a fifth.
    Live At Ibiza: cool.
    spira infinitas: yea. sorry dude-i won't drink anymore.
    Live At Ibiza: we'll drink it when i get home and just get all kinds of shitty off of it.
    spira infinitas: sounds good to me. it's like 60 percent alcohol. you'll definitely get plenty kinds of shitty.
    Live At Ibiza: hahah
    Live At Ibiza: yeah i know this man.
    spira infinitas: can't wait.
    Live At Ibiza: soon
    Live At Ibiza: hahah
    Live At Ibiza: i can't wait to come home man.
    spira infinitas: i know you can't. it's probably going to be like heaven for you…and you'll get to have a little taste of spring before it gets all hot
    Live At Ibiza: yeah. it's gonna be nice.
    Live At Ibiza: i'm super excited about marrying amy man.
    spira infinitas: yeah, it's going to be cool. i think you guys are right for eachother.
    Live At Ibiza: thanks, me too. i love her a lot.
    spira infinitas: and she loves you a lot
    Live At Ibiza: yeah i know, it's wonderful.
    spira infinitas: what time is it there
    Live At Ibiza: 9:52 am
    spira infinitas: weird.
    Live At Ibiza: yeah
    Live At Ibiza: we're 8 hours ahead of you guys, it always confuses me whenever i try calling home.
    spira infinitas: so what kid of building are you in? just a computer lab?
    Live At Ibiza: it's a tent.
    spira infinitas: haha
    Live At Ibiza: yep
    spira infinitas: what's the temp like
    Live At Ibiza: it's nice in here, it's pretty cold this morning though. i work up freezing my ass off last night
    Live At Ibiza: woke sorry not work
    spira infinitas: gotcha
    Live At Ibiza: yeah
    spira infinitas: brb. gonna grab a midnight snack.
    Live At Ibiza: aight.
    spira infinitas: that's cool you get to use the internet bro
    Live At Ibiza: yeah i know, i pretty much always have, but the last place i was at, we were behind a really nasty firewall.
    Live At Ibiza: i found one way around it but i had to pay for it.;
    spira infinitas: well don't go getting your armd chopped off for looking at porn.
    Live At Ibiza: i won't
    Live At Ibiza: haha
    Live At Ibiza: oh well.
    Live At Ibiza: don't need to worry about it anymore.
    Live At Ibiza: well bro, i'm gonna go get something to eat myself.
    Live At Ibiza: i'll probably be on a little later, but you'll probably be sleeping but if i don't talk to you later, i love ya and miss ya. and i'll talk to you soon.
    Live At Ibiza: peace.

  • the brothers robb

    my brothers and i out front of my grandmother's house before brad left to go back to iraq. he had come home on leave in september because my father died.

    eric, bradley and myself.

  • why is speech spelled with two e's and speak has an a? that is the dumbest thing i have ever contemplated. english is absolutely, astonishingly ridiculous.

  • this has been the laziest weekend of my life. i've basically just sat around rolling cigarettes, drinking wine and having conversation with my mother. my brother eric just got his first tattoos yesterday and though they are somewhat generic, i almost feel that everyone has to have at least one. i'm proud of my lil bro :*) also saw some photos of brad's tattoos at the shop. it was kind of weird. he called yesterday and informed us that this week he's moving to camp babylon and then to kuwait and will be headed for home by either the end of this month or early february. i haven't heard that happiness in his voice in so long….i can't wait to see him.

    also, the last couple of days have been very spring-like and it's had me feeling like it was actually coming; but that's just a dirty trick because we all know that michigan summer doesn't come until may. i think we're about to get slammed by snow storms. i hate snow. i can deal with the cold. i just don't want any damn snow. yes, las vegas, take all of it!

    school starts the 13th for me and i'm kinda excited about my classes, though i have 1 more class than i did last semester so i hope i can do as well. i took an art class in place of a true speech class–i wonder how i'll do! i'm also taking cultural anthropology, a soc class, and astronomy [which i'm geeked about.]

  • hope everyone has a wonderful night. goodbye 2003 :*)

  • rock the casbah

    "This Coastie is ringing in the new year on patrol down here in the Carribean. I'll be with you guys next year though! Leave no beers behind and take lots of pictures for me! And remind T-Mills to watch his drink for GHB (GR Girls are sneaky)!"

    haha

  • i was just thinking how much i can't wait for spring to come 'round. "sentimental shit. love, karin". what a great idea. so hey, does anyone remember these albums?

    Swervedriver: Raise
    Dinosaur Jr: Bug
    Superchunk: No Pocky For Kitty
    Alcohol Funnycar: Time to Make the Donuts
    The Meices: Tastes Like Chicken
    Love Battery: Dayglow
    Ned’s Atomic Dustbin: God Fodder
    Samiam: Clumsy
    Jawbreaker: 24 Hour Revenge Therapy
    Shellac: At Action Park
    Big Black: Atomizer
    Seaweed: Spanaway
    Hum: Downward is Heavenward
    Fluf: Classic Years
    Overwhelming Colorfast: Two Words
    Tad: Inhaler
    Mudhoney: Self-Titled
    Nada Surf: The Proximity Effect
    Buffalo Tom: Let Me Come Over
    Built to Spill: Keep it like a Secret
    Archers of Loaf: Icky Mettle
    Treepeople: Actual Reenactment

    jeez. where has the time gone.

    "i need the smell of summer…"

  • it's almost 2004. i should have graduated this year. fuck.

  • this too:
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  • i need this:
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  • *somewhere in the system theres an open-ended list of all the lies we tell…*

    what an interesting month this has been!
    i wish all of you could see the scene out my back window! the woods across the river completely blanketed in snow: absolutely gorgeous. if i find my camera, i'll snap a shot or two.

    completely different world than florida. but i guess that goes without saying. i had a nice trip…wish i could have visited a few people i've been meaning to. beyond my control!

    oh, and bryan might have a love interest. though as much as i want it i'm not sure i'm ready for that sort of thing right now.

  • say what

    god and i had the best make-up sex ever, today. oral report for government went extremely well and i got many good responses from it, especially concerning my comparison of the patriot act to george orwell's 1984. i also received a 96/100 on the exam. bought a cd for the first time in months, though i had to pay with credit, music is one of the only things that really puts that excitement in me with the giddiness of a child. got interviewed by a camera crew on the sidewalk in front of urban outfitters in east lansing. i thought i'd play the part of the optimist when they asked if i believed in god and if so, have i ever witnessed something where i thought god was at work. they may have been theology majors at msu or something but i couldn't pass up the opportunity. i said something to the tune of, "well, though i don't subscribe to any particular religion, i do in fact consider myself to be in touch with what some would call god; with my spirituality, and despite some major disappointments i see in the world, i can't help but look around sometimes and simply relish in the miracle that is life, our place in the cosmos, and the overall beauty in all things…" The guys just stood there kind of slack-jawed and said, "uh, um, uh thank you…" as i walked away. also, i saw paul at urban outfitters…talking to the gal that i'm kicking myself over for not asking out [still working on that confidence thing]…but we might hang out this weekend. maybe i can get to her through him? haha. i'm evil. evil. the entire time, pick up a book, pretend that i'm reading something really interesting, put it down, pick up another, glance over at her behind the counter and feel my heart go thump-thump, then shy away again, looking at clothes i know i won't buy, but every second i spend in there is a chance that maybe she'll trip over me, where then i'll have to pick her up, say extraordinarily meaningful things, promise her the world and then live happily ever after. uh huh.

  • government can plumb suck my ass.
    i'm so tired of this semester, i just want it to be kiss kiss bang bang done. one more week of classes and then one more week of hell, followed by departmental finals. then break! my psych teacher needs to come down with a nasty case of ebola. self-righteous prick.

    in other news. nate and patricia, in the states by the 12th. should be the pinnacle of the year. makeshift plans to maybe hit chi, canada, and/or nyc. we'll see how the cash tree does [hopefully miracle grow and not round-up].

  • rencontrer des personnes est facile

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  • sound the arms and make them believe it's for a good cause.
    i don't need it in the first place. what i need is right here…friends that fill up my PMA and refill my bloody mary, who play me in chess even when i murder them every time, multiple couches to relax on, eddie izzard on the tele, prada hoodie to hold me and keep me snug when i smoke in the brisk air, snow reminding me of that jimmy eat world song, like i'm living it, it it, it it it, it it it it…me. they cheer me up when i'm out of it. when i forget they're around and i crawl into myself like a snail over salt. i return the favor. the flavor. the trevor. the derek. the bry. the rye. the chai. the kai. the lie. the real, the truth the smile the *nod*, i think i know what i'm talking abo* before i rise, before i'm fully awake, i talk myself out of unconsciousness, chain of events, chain smoking my words, internal monotonous never-ender monologue nonsensical analytical logical irrational provocative tip-of-my-tongue anxiousness, tip-of-my-finger annoyances, pillow-ache love sick, window sill frost bit, heat swirls with chilling grip, missing block that's supposed to fit…right where you know it ought to.

  • OH MY SNOW.