why i was not aborted, i do not know. bryan barry robb II, born to bryan barry robb sr. and deborah lynn barnette-robb on the 20th day of february, 1981. my mom was a strong woman. gave birth to me at 19. she gave up her full-ride to nursing school and we lived in a motel in detroit because my dad wouldn't get a job. my mom walked the streets of detroit in order to find a job to support us while she was pregnant for my brother. she gave birth to my brother bradley at 21. at which point my father split [never paid a dime] and from then on she raised us herself, worked full-time, and …
Reading
A Pattern Language
Christopher Alexander
Essays
oh detroit, lift up your weary head
so·ci·o·path n. One who is affected with a personality disorder marked by antisocial behavior
I've been trying an experiment lately.
Instead of writing people off. Instead of going into a situation always expecting the worst. Instead of being cynical. Instead of hating…
Smile.
![]("[gfx.tarot.com/images/de...](http://gfx.tarot.com/images/decks/cary_yale_visconti/full_size/16.jpg"))
The Tower
Position: Self
Main (positional) Meaning:
Significant change is brought about rapidly and unexpectedly.
The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now.
The Tower represents a rapid, creative charge that is unplanned and uncontrollable but presents a brilliant opportunity for transformation. Because of circumstances beyond your control, you have no choice.
Try not to judge whether this development is good or bad. You won't know for awhile whether this was the worst disaster that ever happened or a significant breakthrough. It could be a …
taking everything out of my room and ripping the carpet up.
next will be filling in the holes in the walls and then paint….and then new carpet….i wonder what i should do with it. maybe
it's funny how you don't realize something until someone brings it to your attention and from that moment on you never look at it in the same light again. it could be something you've taken for granted or just something you've never even noticed. a material object or a figure of speech or even your own personality. and suddenly you can't help but notice it. your thought pattern completely changes from that moment on. i guess this would be the definition of epiphany.
my car died yesterday. it was sad to see leon the neon on the side of the road, smoking out of the hood. but i just sat on the trunk and looked at the open fields and the clouds and waited for the wrecker. it's events like this that make me happy that i have family around to help. if i move to some distant corner of the globe, i'd be completely alone and things like this would have to be dealt with entirely on my own. when the wrecker came he just hooked a chain up to the front and pulled me a couple miles down the road to a mechanic. i got to steer my car while he pulled and it was kind …
Essays
havin' a good day. happy fathers day.
)
today was the day i swallowed the lump in my throat,
walked in
and gave her my number.
oh, julay.
DETROIT BASKETBALL
detroit city, what, mothafucka.
I'm sorry that you are feeling so depressed and I'm sorry if I contribute to that. My life has more or less been spent raising you guys. Quite a bit of that time by myself, which didn't leave a whole lot of time for hobbies. Now that you guys are grown up and I have more time to focus on myself, I find that I don't know what to do with myself. Maybe that is part of the reason I feel depressed sometimes. Because the whole purpose of my life and existence for the last 23 years was you guys and now you don't need me anymore.
I know I haven't always been the greatest mother. I've never been …
oh, man, the motivation it takes to leave when every weekend pumps out the same old ssshhhhhmeeeeeeeegma. will it ever be exciting again? or am i just getting old? the bed is looking much more inviting.
you know that old song by EXTREME [yes, extreme] called Hole Hearted, where they say "a circle can't fit where a square should be". I definitely feel like the circle that's just a tad too big to fit into this square that is my life.
good goddamn.
i love it how when the pistons beat the pacers, everyone was like "now you get to see the pistons get murdered by the lakers"
and what did we do?
we won game one @ LA
We came "this close" to winning game two in LA, if it weren't for bryant's miracle shot to put us into over time.
and guess what happened tonight in game three? Pistons 88, Lakers 68.
for all of you that know me, i'm not huge into sports, but i've always had a soft spot for the pistons, if only as one of the few bonding mechanisms between me and my step dad. and it's exciting to see them …
Haha…check out this parody of pitchfork that subpop did back in january. Thought it was pretty funny.
In other news, I finally got an email account to end all other email accounts.
1 GB of storage.
our 'success' is founded on a base of our species' compilation of knowledge from a time since passed.
without surplus, there can be no inequality.
when you eliminate 'self', there are no boundaries.
our adaptability as a species is our greatest asset AND our greatest downfall. it's helped us to survive, but it also makes us take for granted the sweetest of things.
happiness is not material.
never underestimate the power of a 'thank you' note written in crayon.
judgment is not ours to make.
looking in the mirror isn't worth the time. instead of investing time in your appearance, invest time …
Essays
apathy is a cold body
I don't like giving up on people, I really don't. When people hang by a thread, I try my best to reinforce it, best I can. I call people out of the blue to see if they're still alive. I go out of my way to drive to peoples' places, all over the damn state. Hell, I was the only person who called Nathan regularly after he was sent to Germany, and I wasn't even his closest friend. But do people ever call me out of the blue? Very rarely. Who went to your birthday party? Me. Who even so much as called me on mine? When was the last time anyone came to my house? Years? Sure, distance and …
Essays
A Prayer for Owen Meany
If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to have the courage to live it.
I am but one small instrument.
With so much drama in the Mount of P, it's kinda hard bein' Bryan R-O Double-B.
life slides by.
today, today. before today i'd never been in a funeral procession. are you supposed to laugh? because we did. we joked about life. we made cracks at the people watching us from their porches. we laughed at the people at the intersections, sitting bewildered and pissed as our 3 mile long funeral procession stopped most of lansing. everyone eager to get home from the office, or to mcdonalds, or the airport, whatever. we laughed really hard at the guy that was so pissed, he decided to cut right through us all, who immediately got pulled over by a cop on a harley, and was …
Essays
Whether I found the gold, I never told.
Hrm, the sounds of last summer are starting to be recirculated. Anyone know what I'm talking about? Of course there are cd's that you listen to, that compliment the mood you're already in, but theres just certain songs or albums that make me feel a certain way. I usually tuck them away for safe keeping, for those times when I think they'll be therapeutic. Summer is weird though. Only some albums are strictly summer albums. Albums that remind me of good times, hell, even bad times that somehow look sweeter looking back.
So it's June already. One month ago I was frying in the desert, …
hi.
guess i haven't updated in a while. i've been feeling weird since i got back from california. i don't feel like the same person anymore.
about the only thing of interest lately is that i finally got my grades back for the semester and it looks like i'll probably get into UM. the only problem is i don't know how i'm going to pay for it. maybe i should just quit and join the circus or something.
peace.
I still don't have hardly anything done. and to top it off, benzmas is tonight [ben's birthday]..which I can't miss. are everyone procrastinators by nature?
whoa, i'm just totally worn out. i've decided to not go to class today and just stick around here. i've caught up on some lost sleep and maybe now i can actually get some things done that probably should have been long ago.
so the other day my mom went into the hospital for surgery, which wasn't a horribly big deal, but when i went in to visit her i just couldn't help but think about what's to come in my relationship with my parents. pretty soon this is going to happen more and more frequently and i'll be totally helpless…i'll just have to watch it all happen, just as they had with …
when the hell am i supposed to have time to write these papers.
OH, AND…if anyone knows of someone in need of a ticket to coachella, let me know asap.
I can't believe it's almost been a year since I moved home from Florida.
I haven't been single for this long since I started dating. of course I've had pseudo relationships/encounters; nothing serious, and it's really starting to be a drag. it's not that I haven't had opportunities with people, I'm just not moved by anyone recently. and physical attraction only goes so far. this pond is far too small. the only person I've even made a hard core connection with [imo, anyway…don't know if it was reciprocal] is Ashley [are you reading this?–you really touched me…and I'm …